"The Beautiful Let Down"

The world is a strange and lonely place a lot of the time. Even if you are surrounded by all of the people you love, lead a fairly stable and happy life, and all of the above, it still proves to be odd at times and even surreal. Like some how we were all placed onto someone's grid and now are playing leading roles in our own separate screen plays while the director watches from the distance.

I don't belong here. I know that I've never belonged here. Not just because I feel out-of-place, but because I have always known that this has never been the ultimate for me.

And it is interesting because so many people spend their whole lives looking for some type of connection and finding plenty of them, even connecting with God. But even that is never enough. If God says that He will never leave us or forsake us, why does it feel like the majority of the time we are alone, even when we walk with God and God is with us?

The only conclusion that I could draw today is that it is because we are apart from the full essence of God in which we can really only experience in death. If my theory proves true, that is a pretty depressing reality to be in.

And while 80 or even 120 years of life is only a blip on God's timeline, sometimes it truly feels like forever on Earth. Sometimes it doesn't really seem worth to even experience this at times miserable human existance. We are riddled with flaws, errors, repeat mistakes, disobedience, short comings--everything. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of good associated with us, especially when we look at the world as a whole.

That's why I don't understand people's "If you're a good person..." theory because the Bible is true when it says no one is good except for God (Luke 18:19). What is really "good" about humans? What's interesting is that in that same passage Jesus talks about giving your life up for the Kingdom, that is the only way to inherit eternal life. You must serve God on Earth in order to be reunited with God in your entirety in heaven.

Another interesting point is that the Bible refers to all believers as saints. So then I wonder is being human in and of itself a grand test that we pass or fail. How to face all the challenges of being human living in the natural realm while still trying to maintain a relationship with a supernatural God?

I don't think I will have my questions answered until I have come to the end of the road here on Earth. Since I've been a Christian I have always been frustrated with this disconnection, the missing piece in my life. Or perhaps the answer lies in this passage in Romans 8:

"16The Spirit Himself [thus] testifies together with our own spirit, [assuring us] that we are children of God.

17And if we are [His] children, then we are [His] heirs also: heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ [sharing His inheritance with Him]; only we must share His suffering if we are to share His glory.

18[But what of that?] For I consider that the sufferings of this present time (this present life) are not worth being compared with the glory that is about to be revealed to us and in us and for us and conferred on us!

19For [even the whole] creation (all nature) waits expectantly and longs earnestly for God's sons to be made known [waits for the revealing, the disclosing of their sonship].

20For the creation (nature) was subjected to [i]frailty (to futility, condemned to frustration), not because of some intentional fault on its part, but by the will of Him Who so subjected it--[yet] with the hope

21That nature (creation) itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and corruption [and gain an entrance] into the glorious freedom of God's children.

22We know that the whole creation [of irrational creatures] has been moaning together in the pains of labor until now.

23And not only the creation, but we ourselves too, who have and enjoy the firstfruits of the [Holy] Spirit [a foretaste of the blissful things to come] groan inwardly as we wait for the redemption of our bodies [from sensuality and the grave, which will reveal] our adoption (our manifestation as God's sons)."

This supports that there is a disconnect about being fully actualized, fully known. We long to be redeemed, set free from this carnality so that we can be at our full capacity.

People do not realize who they truly are, even when they are in God, they don't see themselves as God sees them. They see themselves as society, family, and the Earth sees them. But the day will come when the scales fall from people's eyes so that they may know who they truly are. The greatness that is truly within them. The power that dwells there. The beauty that has long gone dormant.

Meant to Live - Switchfoot
My favorite lyrics:

"...Maybe we've been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken

[Chorus]

We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life, yeah

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live
We were meant to live"




Beautiful Letdown - Switchfoot

"It was a beautiful let down
When I crashed and burned
When I found myself alone unknown and hurt
It was a beautiful let down
The day I knew
That all the riches this world had to offer me
Would never do

In a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt
I was trying so hard to fit in, fit in,
Until I found out
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong
But I don't belong

It was a beautiful let down
When you found me here
Yeah for once in a rare blue moon I see everything clear
I'll be a beautiful let down
That's what I'll forever be
And though it may cost my soul
I'll sing for free
We're still chasin our tails and the rising sun
And our dark water planet's
Still spinning in a race
Where no one wins and no one's one

I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I'm gonna set sight and set sail for the kingdom come
I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong
But i don't belong
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
Kingdom come
Your kingdom come

Won't you let me down yeah
Let my foolish pride
Forever let me down

Easy living, not much like your name
Easy dying, you look just about the same
Won't you please take me off your list
Easy living please come on and let me down

We are a beautiful let down,
Painfully uncool,
The church of the dropouts
The losers, the sinners, the failures and the fools
Oh what a beautiful let down
Are we salt in the wound
Let us sing one true tune

I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
Feels like I don't belong here
Let me down
Let me down
Feels like I'm let down
Let me down.
Cuz I don't belong here
Please
Won't you let me down?"




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image: http://breadandwine.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/camel-needle-surreal.jpg