Not Being the Victim Any More - Fierce & Fearless Pt. 2

This weekend I saw "Madea Goes to Jail" and I cried for Candace one of the book worms turned prostitute because of her childhood and a turn of events in her life. The movie not only emphasized the importance of forgiving people (particularly if you are locked up physically in jail or psychologically/emotionally/mentally) along with the concept of not adopting the "woe is me" attitude for all the horrible things that people have done in your life--to stop being a victim and start living your life.

My breaking point was when Candace blurted out, her face full of tears "I have decided that I am not going to be a victim anymore!" I could relate to her not only because of her abuse history but because in those words she encompassed the last five months of revelation in my own life and my own proclaimation of deciding not to be a victim anymore and forgiving myself as well as others. I wish that everyone could have this revelation--it will change your entire life when you realize how much you are restricted in your life with unforgiveness, with the "woe is me" attitude, with letting your past rule you, with letting fear rule you. My tears rejoiced with her and with myself because I am where she is at this very moment in my life and I have an incredible sense of peace, hope, laughter, confidence, faith, and praise for the life that God has given me--how I am not in the insane aslym, on the streets, or in jail despite everything that I have been through.

Every day God reminds me that I am free and He reminds me to embrace my freedom. He also reveals to me how I was so suceptible to returning back to bondage in my relationship. I declared to Bishop that "I'm NEVER going back to Egypt!" not by my choice or by someone else's bondage.

And every day He shows me that my freedom is not my own, that I should tell others how to become free, how to escape depression, how to live their lives so that their past does not rule them. God does not deliver you solely for your own benefit, God delivers you so that you can help others be delivered, God blesses us to bless others.

The last 20 years have been quite the journey (an understatement on every level!) and I am looking forward to the rest of my life because the best is yet to come. I realized the other day that I am a pretty old 25-year-old. I feel like I act as though I'm 35 for a number of reasons. I've decided to start living as a 25-year-old because I don't want to turn 35 and wish that I was 25--you sure can't reverse the aging process or go back in time.

At 35 I want to look back and be grateful for this time now and not regretful, particularly when I do eventually start my family. Sometimes the urge to start a family over shadows your ability to enjoy your life in whatever state you are.

Lately I am been really pushing to become Paul (Phil 4:11-12)--to become content in whatever situation I am in--whether it is good or bad, happy or sad, where I want to be or not, whether I cry or laugh--I want to be content where I am and I want my desire, in whatever situation, to be praising God, loving God, and serving God. To be content in whatever situation is another level of freedom and certainly a level of spiritual maturity.

If you are content always then there is nothing the enemy can throw at you that you will not overcome. This is knowing unspeakable joy and having a peace that passes all understanding. So while the world freaks out about losing their jobs, the economy, death, pain etc. you could be experiencing those same things but unlike the world, you will wear a smile, you will laugh, you will dance, and praise God that He is Lord even through the valleys, that He is Lord over your life and Lord of the whole world. That is a whole new level of living fierce and fearless.

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